So it all started last night, when I was watching 101 Dalmatians with my good friend Sheryl. (That was part of the dream, I mean. I was painfully alone and bored before sleep that night.) Right at the end of the movie, at the part where the camera zooms out, and you can see all the dalmatians, I said, "God, I love this movie."
And the magic words sent me into the world of...dream...England...dog land! My faithful Italian Greyhound Hunkydora and I set off to wherever it is I felt so compelled to go. Eventually, after a long trek, we reached a cliff. The cliff was connected to the cliff about a thousand feet away by a row of tree trunks attached end-to-end. I immediately deduced that to cross this tree-bridge would be instant suicide. I tried to look for another way across, but then I spotted Hunkydora (who was now a dalmatian for whatever reason) climbing onto the trees.
I called to her, "Hunkydora, please, come over here, come on, Hunkydora, come here..." But she kept walking forward. Eventually, when she was at the middle-tree, her weight proved too much. The tree began to plummet thousands and thousands of feet. I ran to the cliff edge and shouted, "HUNKYDORAAA!"
Crying, I watched as the tree hit the ground and bounced like a rubber toy. But wait! Hunkydora was fine! I watched as she hopped off the tree, healthy as a horse. And then I realized it was just a goat, and I'd left Hunky back at home. I shrugged and climbed down the now-short cliff edge. When I reached the ground, I wiped my hands off and looked at the distance between myself and the cliff, a stunning three or four hundred feet. I sighed, not looking forward to all that walking. But what's that? It's my friends Ra-Ra and Michael Kelso of our own That 70's Show! I ran forward to greet them, embracing my loved Ra-Ra.
We then went to the enchanted clearing (which was really just the Middle School field I live next to, but for the purposes of this blog-thingy, it's an enchanted clearing) and discussed what we had to do. We had to break into the fortress across the clearing. The reason was as yet unclear, but we knew it would become clear if and when we succeeded.
Ra-Ra and Kelso covered for me as I broke into the side building, shooting the lock off with such expertise that not a soul heard me. I went inside and looked around. I could see some people at the end of the hall, so I made a sharp right. There were a few people who worked there, wearing white lab coats.
"Someone's broken in!" they whispered.
"Well, I need to get back to my training," I replied, needing to get away from them.
"Get out of the way!" a bunch of SWAT-looking guys said, pushing past me. I turn around and continue to go through hallways, searching for that which I needed so badly. Kelso caught up to me and began inquiring very loudly as to whether or not my break-in was being successful or not. I told him to shut his mouth, but not fast enough. Bad guys began to swarm around us, a mixture of the SWAT guys and the labcoat jocks.
But soft! What light through yonder ceiling breaks? Tampons, thousands of them! And pads! All mixed together, this assortment of female hygiene begans to fall from above, and suddenly everybody's cheering for me! I go along with it, quite confused, holding my arms up and backing away towards a room I know is safe. Right before Kelso and I are in the room, I shout, "Tampons are the teeny rolled-up napkins that make up our society!" and the crowd goes wild. I duck into the room and Ra-Ra greets us, asking what happened. We explain, and suddenly...
We're back in the enchanted clearing, discussing our next plan. We must gain entrance, through permission this time, into the castle across the clearing that now replaced the evil fortress. We walk forward, and outside, ready to meet us, is...what's-his-name...one of Legolas's buddies, the one who asked where Gandalf was, because he much desired to speak with him?
Yeah. And we go in. And we win the dream.
For those of you who want to know what happened to the goat, it's still in the enchanted clearing. It's fine. :D
(Yes, that was a real dream, I am not kidding. Even the dialogue. The only thing I exaggerated was the "enchanted clearing," which I pointed out.)
